stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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