therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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