haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im holly from the hills drunk
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize