Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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