Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize