I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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