This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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