i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
