He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
