I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
