He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
