Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
