Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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