They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize