We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
