I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We just shotgunned beers for America
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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