Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
