I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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