Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
