he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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