My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
