I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But break dance skills will only take you so far
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
