her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
love makes seman taste better
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Drunk is not a location!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
