dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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