Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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