This girl is more easily done than said...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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