you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
