C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
