Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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