You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
