I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
