I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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