now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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