I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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