Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
