I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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