We won't sleep together?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize