It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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