Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
