I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
why do cheetos always look like penises
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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