you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
