Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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