I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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