Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
