There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
