I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize