Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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