it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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