He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
