I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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