Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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