never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
