I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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