so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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