i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize