I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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