she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
