I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
