How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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