i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
