I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
