Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
