Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
