they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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