He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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