who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
